Meme Land

Phone entry

2010-01-11T20:35:00.001-06:00

Come to my grotto, feast with me on the sun and the moon and the stars, drink with me of the water. Sing with me of the sky.

Turn around is fair play

2009-05-13T12:51:00.002-05:00

Okay so I just referenced Obama getting bitch slapped by the CIA and lo' and behold suddenly the President decides it's NOT in the countries best interest to dig around in the past...
In a dramatic and high-profile reversal for his young administration, President Barack Obama is seeking to block the release of 44 photographs depicting abuse of detainees in U.S. military custody in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The Justice Department had already agreed to release the photos by May 28 in response to a lawsuit, but Obama is shifting course.

“Last week, the President met with his legal team and told them that he did not feel comfortable with the release of the DOD photos because he believes their release would endanger our troops, and because he believes that the national security implications of such a release have not been fully presented to the court,” said a White House official who asked not to be named.

“At the end of that meeting, the President directed his counsel to object to the immediate release of the photos on those grounds,” the official said.

Truly funny but sadly revealing as to the presidents uncertainty. Apparently he doesn't realize that making declarations and such actually create the judicial situation that will eventually get his decision over turned. The president can't say one thing one day and another the next without causing rocking the foundations of his authority.

I wonder what the NPR staff think about this after their long news article touting the President's debates and how he had his cabinet divide up into groups and debate the pros and cons of releasing the photos. Than he weighed the options and decided to release. whoops guess that was a bad call.

Color me not that surprised

2009-05-13T08:36:00.002-05:00

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs today indicated that President Obama will not intervene to keep gay servicemembers from being dismissed from the military, despite his vow to end the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

Gibbs said "the policy isn’t working for our national interests," but added that ending it will "require more than the snapping of one's fingers."

"To get fundamental reform in this instance requires a legislative vehicle," Gibbs said. "The president made a promise to change this policy; he will work with the Joints Chiefs of Staff, the administration and with Congress to ensure that we have a policy that works for our national interests."

Noted a reporter at the briefing: "He is the Commander-in-Chief. I mean, if the president and the Secretary of Defense can bring about a new leadership in Afghanistan, replace the commanding general there, couldn't the president and the secretary of defense delay any more people getting fired under 'don't ask, don't tell'?"

Responded Gibbs: "Well, there have been discussions about the best way to move forward, and the only sustainable way to do that is through -- sustainable and durable way -- is through legislation, which the president has promised and has continued to work for."

No of course he won't get involved, he doesn't trust himself in a battle with the Pentagon, and and has already been smacked about by the State Department when he sold the CIA down the river over torture. It's just not that big an issue to him.

The New Old Star Trek

2009-05-11T15:27:00.003-05:00

First of all it was a great movie, fast paced, well acted, cheesy and great graphics. I think everyone involved should be congratulated. Except JJ Abrams, after mulling it over for three days I have to say that creating an alternate universe Star Trek is a cheap way of clearing the slate and allowing his characters a shot at doing whatever. The one thing I loved about Star Trek was the history, it had a clearly delineated time line and huge blank spots where people could do anything they wanted. Remaking the crew of the Enterprise is a bunch of cheap hollywood flim flam to cover the fact that they can't think of anything new.
But this all goes back to my problem with the current string of "re-imaginings" is it so hard to come up with a new idea when an entire universe already exists and quite literally they have a galaxy to play in. What about a new ship? what about covering an aspect of the Federation that does something other than fly around and deal with the romulans? I have the same issue with the new Dr Who, an absolute great series stuck in a rut and unable to imagine new opponents, time troubles or even why all the time lords died but the daleks seemed to have come through just fine, MULTIPLE TIMES!!!

But this should not be thought of as a denouement of the current star trek movie, it's really good, everything you could ask for in a summer flick, except originality.

Tales of the new Sun

2009-05-08T10:59:00.002-05:00

Read this book!
The Book of the New Sun

I think the premise and the execution are better than almost anything I've read in a decade.

That is all.

Plus drop the friend who recommended it to me a line and tell him to post again!

I'm thinking of my skinny friends

2009-04-18T12:55:00.001-05:00

Back to the starry nights

2009-04-17T14:55:00.002-05:00

Well bitches, I've been shitty for the past four weeks and haven't updated. I think about it every day but than I don't typical me I suppose. But I have booked a trip back to England! Yay me. I'll see Ian, and Stuart, and who know who else, maybe some of the twitter folk I see around the web. May 29th though June 7th! Let me know if you live in the London area and if you want to meet up. Boo can't come as he is finishing graduate stuff and changed tacks and now has three months of work to complete, so I'm going alone again. Which is cool and sad at the same time.

Oh well heres to the Drinking and the History!

Black Chargers of the Night

2009-03-23T15:47:00.002-05:00

I think I'm going to stop talking about the govt and the "troubles". It's just to easy to get worked up over something that realistically I don't have the energy to affect. That's not to say I couldn't make a difference, I just don't want to have to endure the media scrutiny, the constant search for campaign money, and the inevitable drama that being gay in this state entails.

So on to a different note. movies. Been on quite the roll lately, Saw. "Watchman" and "Twilight". Oddly enough Twilight was the better edited and directed movie regardless of the paucity of the 'message'. Watchman had good material but failed to translate that effectively into a tight script. By staying so close to the comic they left out the all important 'WHY'. Movies of this nature are suppose to tie things together but it really only left things open to more questions without the promise of a sequel. Still the premise was so good that you could forgive a lot, the character development for Rorschach was so amazing that you just wanted to keep watching him flip out one liners and killer jail bugs. The context of this I suppose is that the original premise on the comic was to use artificial threat of
alien invasion to unite the Earth. Oddly enough I had the same idea when i was 16, by giving a greater threat and goal, you could quell most rebellions with tacit population support, in an effort to prepare for a greater threat. heh, I was such an ambitious little dreamer. Alexander was my hero too...

Twilight did a good job though and I'm actually looking forward to the future installments.

Ta for now

Oh look responsible journalism!

2009-03-20T09:19:00.003-05:00

People do realize that we own AIG now right?

Gah the latest round of populist politics and journalism has made me sick. People at AIG actually working and doing the right thing, smashed in the face for continuing to work and close out a trillion dollar book of business. But no let's all jump on them for bothering to get paid!!

Grandstanding congressmen, the President himself, joe schmo's all calling the them greedy and self serving. Fuck them, have them quit, than watch the loss's balloon, your still going to have to bail them out! AIG's insurance division, backs whole governments, and they've already let it be known what they will do if they are left swinging in the wind.

To the North lie the ruins of the First ones

2009-03-18T13:58:00.003-05:00

Business is starting to slow down, and despite my competitors lies to the the contrary, I know they are slowing down too. (vendor contacts) Inflation is already hitting our bottom line and slowly getting pushed over to the customers. Certain sectors are tightening faster than others. My paycheck is probably going to be A LOT smaller this month. Still I've done fine the last few months and that won't hurt. Still the urge to horde money is Very strong, I'm trying to resist however.
Boo's birthday is Saturday, and I have no idea what to get him, or where to take him... Ideas anyone? he's a 24 year old grad student who loves German stuff. The cake is ordered, I'm still looking for a night out hopefully with friends, if not stashing the dog at a friends and heading to a bigger city. I'd love to do a nature trip but the weather is suppose to be horrible, so I'm not sure I want to be on a mountain side during a tornado. That leaves sudden travel plans, a nice hotel, a spa trip. hmm after calling around I'm not sure about the spa trip.

Well any ideas are welcome!

Not a moment to soon!

2009-03-09T12:15:00.005-05:00

So years after scientists have figured out how to make stem cells from just about everything, Obama rides to the rescue to unclog the stem cell research ban!
Only one problem, he attaches a provision that messes with gay people reproducing, and my future plans of galactic race spawning....grumble grumble... I bet the Chinese will let me make clones...

"President Barack Obama says human cloning is "dangerous, profoundly wrong" and has no place in society.

Obama made the comments as he was signing an executive order that will allow federal spending on embryonic stem cell research.

Some critics say the research can lead to human cloning. Obama said the government will develop strict guidelines for the research because misuse or abuse is unacceptable.

He said he would ensure that the government never opens the door to the use of cloning for human reproduction. "

The truth is simple, Obama hates clone people...

Update:
And Congress bans stem cell research again...
Does anyone read these Bills anymore?

Math exercise

2009-03-03T16:35:00.004-06:00

646 Billion dollars divided by ten years
64.6 Billion per year
Divided by 300 million
215$ per person

tax rebate $400.00 or $7.69 a week good thru 2010
after that the every person in the US would be expected to chip in an extra $51.25 per month to pay for the Cap and trade carbon tax after they loose their "tax rebate". That is of course if every person paid their electricity. The average wage hit people will take after the rebate expires is $790.99 or $65.92

This doesn't take into account any extra tax burdens the gov't will have to add to business's or the middle class to pay for the new spending. My guess is after 2010 the average tax increase for the middle class payer will be roughly $2000 which would only raise an extra 300,000,000,000 billion per year. Which would just about pay the for the previous administrations spending habits. The current administration is convinced for not particular reason that massive debt will be the answer to massive loss. Do any of them consider that they should in fact be rewarding innovations that might bring in new revenue rather than taxing the old to death? The law of diminishing returns will eventually make the new tax burdens bring in less than needed. After that the search for money will be the name of the game.

Update
The number today has moved to 80 billion dollars a year sorry!

One hates to mention

2009-02-26T12:24:00.005-06:00

(TN was Boring)

One hates to mention when the maps we are fed are wrong but can anyone see whats wrong here?
Could it be that the entire western coast of Canada is said to be ice free? Now one would hate to tell these nice people at the NOAA that take all our money and feed us back supposedly good information, that their program to read sea ice is wrong but perhaps this small picture can help them correct their error.

Webcam Location

Webcam picture
Maybe I'm insane but that does not look like open water to me. (yes it's suppose to be breaking up but it is there

DC to TN

2009-02-23T14:33:00.004-06:00

I flew out to DC Friday the 13th, (woot!) and got to DC without incident and early by like 4 hours. Met up with E and had dinner than hit the hay. The next day was the big collection of Memorials and monuments, The Washington monument was bigger than I remembered and the walk was further than I remembered. Lincoln's temple (it's hard to call it anything other than that) is so moving, it's beautiful and elegant, everything you would want in a memorial to a man who endured what he did. I have to admit that I find it harder to ignore the death count this time, the true number of people who perished for ideology. I guess that's the Humanist growing in me.

Than we walked over the the Smithsonian Air and Space and ogled the rockets and planes. E's big dream was getting pictures of the moon lander, which we did, and I loved the pictures of the planets from the various satellites that we sent out. After that a trip back to the hotel, (we stayed at the GWU Double Tree which was really nice and inexpensive) took a nap than headed out for sushi, a dessert and a cool book store than gay'd out at the DC Eagle. I had a bit to drink and E claims I was too handsy :-) but my defense is that we were at the DC Eagle!! We also went to JR's which I really liked but E hated, and than walked up and down their gay street but ended up back at the Eagle, which all said, was a pretty nice place.
Sunday we split up for the morning and got back at lunch, after pictures at the white house, figured out there was no way we could see Avenue Q and the theatre, and
did the Arlington tour which was always impressive, somber and beautiful. Had dinner at Bistro Francias, which was delicious and spent the rest of the evening doing ...stuff : )

Okay than the next morning I went to Tennessee, which shall be the next post.

This is Me!

2009-02-23T13:15:00.004-06:00

From the nice Tim at Ctr-alt
I'll post more on my trips here in a bit. Didn't felt very bloggy last week.

On traveling

2009-02-16T20:48:00.002-06:00

Am traveling this week, after a long weekend with E in DC, it was a really nice Valentines weekend, in fact one of the best i've had. I'll post pixs when I get back home. TN is nice though chilly. And so far have had a good biz trip.

Okie Winds or Why I love this state some days

2009-02-11T12:06:00.005-06:00

Had our first serious storm of the year, huge lightening a couple of tornadoes, lots of rain and some serious wind. A Chuckie cheese location had a wall collapse, so you'd think it was serious however the plant nursery that was next door had limited hail damage and lost a few plants. Lesson? Chuckie Cheese paid off their building constructor to use cheap stuff, so don't take your kids there!!

The stimulus pork pie is winding it's way through congress, even though I hear news report after news report lauding my customer base as the only safe industry, i still worry that the blow back is going to have serious repercussions on my life. first deflation, than massive inflation. sigh it's enough to make me want to move to an island and ride the whole thing out. To bad Boo wants to live some where cold.*grumble* First TurboTax Timmy wants us to believe that he had nothing to do with the first TARP, which he did, Second that his plan has nothing to do with the old plan, which it does, not only does the only parts of the "plan" that is real include sinking money into banks as their balance sheets get precariously short, but the parts that are 'new' are the same ideas that Paulson floated and just didn't have enough time to create.

For the record I think besides preventing runs on banks they should have let most of the big banks fail. Propping them up is no different than the slow and expensive disintegration of the auto industry that 'surprise' we are also supporting with no end in sight. When there is no consequence to failure, there is no need to succeed.

Ugh I know in the end we will survive it and float back to the top, I am just not looking forward to our lost decade as politicos steal while calling it necessary, all the time lining their pockets as their citizens go bankrupt. I have travel plans...

good news...hmm need to finish this off on a up note.
I have a sweet tax return, two months of commission checks and a ticket to DC with E for Valentines day. Than three days of travel in TN visiting customers and kissing babies. Things could be worse.

Guess who's still a douche

2009-02-05T15:55:00.002-06:00

Sally Kern
Also I would like to make another plea to her son that moved to Iowa and swears that he is abstinent now, please smack your mother.

you know you want to touch the button

2009-02-05T15:53:00.000-06:00

Antibiotics and two trips to the doctors

2009-02-05T09:28:00.003-06:00

I'm still not sure i want to write about this it's kinda gross. But i suppose in some way this is all catharsis or what not.
So I worked out M,T,W, and F of last week, Saturday comes around and I'm a little sore but in a good way, or so I thought, I was definitely feeling it around the naval (I'm not going to type belly button I'm just not going to do it)which is pretty normal for me. I spend the whole day cooking and and on my feet and I'm pretty exhausted at the end of the day. I'm still a bit sore but think little of it. Sunday rolls around and I'm still sore, I start to think it's odd but wonder if my belt jammed up in my naval or something, I'm starting to keep an eye on it. I spend the night at E's and drive back in the morning. My naval region is still sore, big warning sign for me and it hurts every time I sit or stand. I'm starting to get concerned when i pull up my shirt and see that it's all red and hot to the touch. That's not normal. So after work I head to the doctors, the urgent care centers in OK, rock and despite the fact it's standing room only because of a huge amount of flu cases I'm in and out in an hour and a half and total cost with medicine was $28.50. The PA in residence has decided that it's cellulitis and entered thru my naval. gosh that's just great, it really hurts AND it's totally disgusting. The next day was the worst though, though there were no obvious wound or entry point the internal pus leaked out (this is actually a really good thing) and I had to clean it out and saline the area. for the record I totally used the little switch in your head that you have to use when it's just to much to think about. The thing has been better since than, the swellings gone down, the redness is fading, and it's only a tad painful. I'm just thankful to be on the tail end of the experience and that everything is healing properly.
My nurse friend surmises that I probably picked up the nasty at the gym and that it's just been hanging around waiting for an opportunity. I buy that and realize the many vectors that could contribute. I don't think I'll change anything in my routine just yet, though I might wash out my naval with saline from time to time out of simple fear and loathing. Washing your sheets more, trying not to reuse gym cloths. I might look into and anti bacterial laundry soap as well.

Okay there is my tale.

Taxes

2009-02-03T13:00:00.000-06:00

Does anyone in government pay taxes anymore?

Food, Food, ever where but not a bit to eat

2009-02-02T12:28:00.009-06:00

so in an effort to feed the man friend during his final week of studying I worked Saturday and sunday to cook a week of meals and such for him. Than went up and stayed at his place Sunday. We cooked the final proteins (chicken) up there and munched on rice and freshly made hummus. his bedroom is frigid, I don't think there is any insulation in the walls so we ran a space heater and an electric blanket. Not that one would need it after he gets in bed, he's pretty warm blooded and sweats in even cold temps. So lets see this weekend I made

Seafood Salad
A huge batch of Tabouli
Baked Fish Putanesca
Red Dal with Chilies
sauted peppers with onions (side dish for the Chicken)
Hummus and rice
Peeled and cleaned two grapefruits
Cleaned grapes
portioned out Crackers

Hopefully this will keep E feed and healthy and cut back on his midnight fast food runs which I think is contributing to some fatigue and general malaise.

Also watched most of the original "Kindred" series on the Chiller network sunday while cooking. You know for all it's weakness it wasn't totally a waste. I think properly handled it could have had a better life span but I don't think network TV was the best way forward. Trying to explain about Vampire clans and why they only burst into flame when their blood points went low was just too much for the Fox writers.

The snow in the Plains falls mostly as Ice

2009-01-29T16:48:00.002-06:00

Had an ice storm this week in the 405 it was kind of crappy and the roads were slick as shit because of the way the first assualt came as freezing mist than rain. So most activities have been indoors. Couldn't stay home and only got to the gym yesterday for the first time, that kind of sucked but on the upside E is coming down tonight and can keep me warm! yeh! mobile heat stacks!! He's been swamped with upcoming test so it will be nice to put a face to the name for the first time in two weeks.
Not much else is going on, I get pretty down trapped in my house during snow storms. Something about the empty cold I suppose. My meals have pretty much sucked and I need to focus on them if I'm going to loose the next round of weight for my goal. Hmm not sure if I'll cook tonight or get some iranian take away. Less clean up more time with boo.

Still no decisions on vacations, I get my tax refund and am trying to decide if the coming inflation means I should spend big this year or sock it all away.

How you can tell the media wants a hand-out

2009-01-22T16:13:00.005-06:00

and when I say media I mean the folks who are loosing their jobs to the internet.

Headlines On This Date 4 Years Ago:

"Republicans spending $42 million on inauguration while troops Die in unarmored Humvees"
"Bush extravagance exceeds any reason during tough economic times"
"Fat cats get their $42 million inauguration party, Ordinary Americans get the shaft"

Headlines Today:

"Historic Obama Inauguration will cost only $120 million"
"Obama Spends $170 million on inauguration; America Needs A Big Party"
"Everyman Obama shows America how to celebrate"
"Citibank executives contribute $8 million to Obama Inauguration"

things I need to do

2009-01-22T14:29:00.003-06:00

-get a new garage door opener
-more memes
-Find a way to do more with the manfriend
-start really planning out a vacation, one that stirs the soul yet comes with drinks included.
-apologize to Fawksy...it would of course be easier if he told me what for.
-destroy at least two up and coming galactic powers before they discover the secret of the "Stolen Suns."
-eat more veggies and pure protein
-visit more relatives before they die
-hang my "new" front door
-find at least two new friends this year.
-take back my back yard.
-hang more art that i bought
addendum
-Find a way to do more with the manfriend
-read more technical manuals
-go camping and fishing
-stay tanned
-learn a language so E doesn't stare at me disapprovingly when we go out.
-make love on a heart shaped bed while holding a fish in one hand and an apple in the other. (helps insure a male baby!)
-consider property in a secluded location.

History is a funny thing..

2009-01-19T08:07:00.004-06:00

Okay two things, first freaky dream moment, I woke up at five in the morning, coming out of a dream in which my little brother and my mom were rushing to get out of the house early. They were taking part in some kind of community event (sponsored by a radio station)that was all about waking up and getting out of the house by 6 in the morning. The freaky thing is it woke me up at 5 in the morning, but my mom and little brother are on the east coast so they are an hour ahead...."dum dum duummm"

Okay second thing since i was early for work I was listening to NPR talk about the pre-inaugural concert that they had at the Lincoln Memorial last night Sunday, Jan. 18th. No big whoop, I mean sure they are spending over 100 million dollars of tax payers dollars just to swear a man in so he can tell us that we have no money with a charming smile but whatever, we'll print more. The funny thing is, and forgive me for this total nerd moment is that they closed the concert with this rousing song, "This Land is Our Land", Now this little song was written by the late great Woody Guthrie, who is also from my adopted state of Oklahoma. However this is hardly a song of unity and I suspect a great many Indians are grinding their teeth this morning. They HATE that song. It's so like the biggest slap in the face to them and I've seen grown men reduced to frothing rage trying to explain it. It's like the English talking about Bonny old England stretching from Wales to Westray, Scotland. Or Russia talking about stretching from the Kamchatka peninsula to Poland. Hilarious stuff and when viewed thru the lens of history a literal mine field of conquests and Manifest Destiny... whoops not allowed to use that phrase anymore... :) Unity gotta love it. Somehow I suspect the Indian delegation is hitting the fire water a little early this morning as they see the chances of any change dry up, lost in nuance and nationalism. To me it's all kind of hilarious, but I laugh at all the wrong moments.

Context: am history buff, irony is the true humor, and I grew up learning multiple sides to every story.

Update I am not alone in this! my boss heard about this and had me laughing so hard I was almost crying, singing, "this land is your land, this land in my land...but mostly it's my land, now get the hell off"

2ND UPDATE The inaugural cost is now sitting at 170 million, my bad. However the possibility of private donation is of course growing...to put this in prospective, Bush's last one cost 45 million and Clinton's cost 33 million.

Haunted nether bits

2009-01-15T09:51:00.005-06:00

Occasionally one discovers a line so perfect so succinct you just have to blog about it, and this truly is one of them. Thanks to "Chris's Invincible Super Blog" for the pic
Context: also this is, along with Vagina Dentura, An excellent reason to stay gay

Update I Forgot a hat tip to Frank! Sorry about that Frank, keep on blogging! Oh and get a boyfriend already.

AT&T is weird

2009-01-13T16:05:00.003-06:00

So I went to pay my bill online with the ATAT and I typed in my password wrong once, THEY LOCKED MY ACCOUNT!!! What the hell is up with that?

context: I only hate cell phone companies when i have to deal with them directly

*also I cannot spell correctly to save my life

On what the christian religion has cost us

2009-01-09T12:50:00.003-06:00

When the christian church consolidated it's teachings and expanded it's holdings to include most if not all of the former Roman Empire, they began to teach that all the bible was complete, and that all necessary knowledge was found in the scripture. They used poems and verses from the bible to dictate what was "real" or false and they forbade the search for additional knowledge as heresy. Though I'm sure the graph is easy enough to understand and that many of it's underlying numbers have been smoothed the over all trend is pretty clear.

Spirituality or why it's not what you think

2009-01-08T09:18:00.004-06:00

hmm looking over the last few months of posts one might think that i am a spiritual person, or believe some hokey new age mysticism.

This is not the case.

Context: Despite my use of the word 'spirit', I am at most a Taoist,and at least an atheist. As a humanist, I believe that religion should never hinder or retard growth or exploration. I am not a christian, satanist, or someone who cares to define morality by any scripture. When I use the word spirit I am referring to that inner sense of oneself that can be happy or sad, that is something more than chemical response and can be manipulated through meditation. As I recently wrote elsewhere, "Maybe to those who see the church as a path to enlightenment it is. However I see it as a philosophical dead end that while maintaining spiritual warmth, fails to explore the cold world and universe beyond and come to terms with the need to dramatically expand the scope of our ambitions." I think that pretty much sums it up.

Cthulhu F'thagn

2009-01-07T10:37:00.003-06:00

okay I know it's a little late for christmas, but it's right on time for Cthulumas, that joyous annual holiday when you gift your fellow cultists with awesome new idols of the Great and Deep Ancient ones! So in the spirit of the holiday, this is the little guy I have my covetous eye on this fishy holiday! The 3rd edition Legrasse!

If I get it I promise to love it and feed it and keep it in a wet dark grotto!!

Of course someone could also get me, and I'm looking at you Dagon! could get me a gift card for the new gay version of Lovecraft's Cthulu Sigh who would have thought a hundred years on the Ancient ones would have so much presence in our media driven world!

That is not dead which can eternal lie.
And with strange aeons even death may die

Odd

2009-01-05T18:15:00.002-06:00

I haven't been blocked for some time, still feels odd. meh, than again maybe it's just cause high school was so long ago.

January gym crowds

2009-01-05T12:51:00.002-06:00

While trying not to be snobbish, I recently had to direct two men to the locker room in my gym, this despite the fact that the doors were clearly marked with signs over top. The gym was of course crowded. The only upside to the whole thing is that there is at least a bit more eye candy to look at while waiting for equipment.

So far so good, E is busy with school stuff but we had a nice date Friday night, I admit we have failed to do "date nights" as often as we should. Something I will try to remedy. OKC has some nice places to visit, though apparently they have decided to charge 25% tax? Either that or the bar phased in a tip and thought I shouldn't notice.

I am still hoping to take a spring holiday, I would love to (and expect to) go with E but his graduation schedule has been moving around a lot. I don't want to put any pressure on him over it though, students don't make a ton of money. Maybe he will have to apply for jobs and they will fly him around the world and I can tag along?? Well I can dream can't I?

Post New Years wrap-up

2009-01-02T15:36:00.002-06:00

New years was fun, the day after could have gone a lot better.

No resolutions..

Post Christmas wrapup.

2008-12-28T09:16:00.002-06:00

Well, back from my latest trip, saw the folks and all the siblings, Their kids and spouses. Got to see my Grandma and that was awesome. She seems in much better spirits than when I saw her last. One weird thing no one bothered to ask what I was doing, or if i was seeing anyone. So since they didn't I just mentioned E like over and over. If they can't get the hint than fuck'em. I even said he had a key to the house and even that didn't provoke a response! You'd think they'd care a little : \

The gift were a bit slim this year, I did get a super cool ball clock from my sister. I've always wanted one but never shelled out the money for it.
E and I kept the gifts simple this year, I got jello shots and some time with him, he got a stocking and stuff. yes I'd like to do more for him but I really don't want to push it. Oh well his birthday isn't too far away.

I did get myself one gift, okay probably a few but the one that stands out is the first season of Freakazoid on DVD. I was at the store shopping and found out it had been released and had to snatch it up. Sweet, sweet animated madness!

All right blog readers talk to you later, hope you had a good Christmas! Now onto New Years, all I'm going to say is I'm looking for a hotel room with a jacuzzi!

So much for Capitalism...

2008-12-10T14:34:00.000-06:00

Mumbai, and Muslim terrorism

2008-12-01T12:23:00.001-06:00

Pretty much sums up my views too.

Winston Churchill 1899:

“How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy.

“The effects are apparent in many countries. Improvident habits, slovenly systems of agriculture, sluggish methods of commerce, and insecurity of property exist wherever the followers of the Prophet rule or live.

“A degraded sensualism deprives this life of its grace and refinement; the next of its dignity and sanctity. The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property, either as a child, a wife, or a concubine, must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men.

“Individual Moslems may show splendid qualities, but the influence of the religion paralyzes the social development of those who follow it.

“No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. It has already spread throughout Central Africa, raising fearless warriors at every step; and were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science, the science against which it had vainly struggled, the civilization of modern Europe might fall, as fell the civilization of ancient Rome.”

Not much has changed...

Shouldn't we wait till after the inaugration? DADT

2008-11-21T13:47:00.002-06:00

While I fully expected this, and even blogged about how I only trusted Obama to throw the gays under his bus. This rapid unfolding of stories about what he is or isn't going to do is kind of crazy. Maybe I have just forgotten what transitions are like and it's been awhile since we've had one with the past two presidents having 8 year terms and the president before that being a vice president, but how is it that people are sure which policies are or are not going to be enacted?
Give the guy a chance to get his people in place and pursue his plans. Remember we want this to be successful and we want be smooth.

However if this is true and that 2010 is the projected roll out time he would be setting himself up for a huge fight in congress as the next congressional election cycle peaks. I really hope that there is enough support to get it through congress and onto his desk WITHOUT caveats or loop holes that would make it a hollow victory. So many gays need some way of proving themselves to their families or society at large and it seems a huge waste to throw away these possible recruits or force them to hide in the closet. I know I would have enlisted if the ban had been lifted. Yes I know several gays that are in the military some out some not but I couldn't do it under the current law. I didn't want to pour my life into a career that could be snatched out from under me by any misstep or fellow soldier. Sadly in 2010 I'd be 35 to old to enlist : (

Wal-mart?

2008-11-21T10:45:00.002-06:00

Occasionally things happen and I have no idea why. This is one of them. Mayhaps he needs to spend more time with his family? Pursue new opportunities?

Context, I always watch for signs of weakness, it's an aspect of my nature.

On Global warming and why I don't care

2008-11-20T16:28:00.003-06:00

Sorry I've never really worried about climate change and feel pretty confident in the belief that regardless of the earth warming or cooling we lack the ability to do anything except produce less soot. (Something I do think is important) neither the Kyoto protocol nor the science behind it was anything other than alarmist claptrap in my opinion and the powers that be that beat it's drum have done little besides enrich themselves and promote their own business schemes. Humans should always be thinking about the changing environment and trying to keep things the way they were at any one time is a dangerous ideal considering the earth is a dynamic system not static.

This interesting belief that we should stop making CO2 is just the latest twist. Judges have now ruled that CO2 is a dangerous industrial waste. Did no one mention to him that every breath we take creates CO2, and there fore we are all under the managing auspices of the EPA? that CO2 is less than .0373 percent of the actual gas in the air? yet somehow is suppose to be the main component of Global warming? Or that the more CO2 in the air the better that plants do? No all this is disregarded to flashy headlines even as the air grows colder and colder and the seasons shorter. I don't even try to argue anymore I might mention corollaries to planetary warming throughout the solar system that matched Earth's own, but than I blame that on Bush.
Think people, think....

: / apparently I'm an asshole

2008-11-11T11:10:00.004-06:00

Not that I don't already know this, and my close friends know this. However I suppose people I blog with don't know this. Probably because my asshole philosophy tells me to be polite except when talking about things like philosophy. So I can only apologize so much until I get to the point where I remember why I gave up on teaching, and parties and anything other than close friendships. Than I do the same thing I've done since high school, shut my mouth, go home, write my teacher (whose long dead) a letter telling him he was an asshole but right and stick my nose in a book. At least this time I have someone to cuddle with and exchange recipes. Unless he decides I'm an asshole too.
Maybe i should buy christmas presents early just in case...

I suppose for context I should explain, my philosophy only allows me to be an asshole about philosophy because it can kill people. Therefore to express emotion for it is justified. All things that are trivial or transitory must not be worried or fussed over.

Clarification
I suppose, as Jimbo points out, that not changing a habit since high school would indicate a lack of personal growth as well as it should. However that habit came about as a lesson I learned about debate tactics. Basically I come from a family of very confrontational, self righteous, educated blowhards. Though socially awkward (the gay thing, and poor to boot) I was out spoken in certain classes about history and the lessons to gleen from it. Over time I was convinced by a teacher that debate convinced no one of anything and the only successful way of changing the world was through example. So I stopped being verbal and started just helping people and trying to make my section of the world a better place and for the most part that has been wildly successful. However sometimes i still wish words were enough, and the internet can bring out the worst of my old habits. So I apologize, because nothing really matters in the end except how you treat others.

Troubling

2008-11-10T15:14:00.005-06:00

I heard a debate recently that troubled me, several people I know that have learned some of the advanced arts of meditation have been trying to munch on a quote they pulled up while delving. "Better for a world to die than the unenlightened learn to read." meaning that if someone reached some form of understanding about the nature of the universe out of order they were most likely to create vicious cycles of destruction in their world that would leave it corrupted, possibly for all time.

Any opinions out there? or is this just prattle from a time of caste systems and extreme knowledge hording?

Addendum
I suppose i should add in context I read CosmoDaddy's blog and was curious about the man Allister that is helping to teach him to meditate and relax.

Traveling

2008-11-10T15:07:00.006-06:00

Sorry folks I have been traveling quite a bit lately and it's draining me of extra creative energy. Eventually you get to the point where all you can do is sit in a chair and try to regain some density to your self. Still I have been a bit busy, I've seen Sex Drive, Role Model, and RockanRolla. I bought a suit, I am still happily in a relationship, I saw a production fo Rocky Horror Picture show, and I treated my friends to a meal at the Melting Pot which was a lot of fun and very good. I also recieved a book from an old blog friend as well as completing quite a bit of reading on my own.

On the down side my yard has suffered, my dog is restless, my house is unclean, my spirit feels thinned out and my work out schedule has suffered as well.

Still I got to see Tampa, Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Minneapolis, and Wichita. more cities to add to the list which in time i must throw away.

Hope everyone out there is surviving the season change and keeping their spirits up!!

November Meme!

2008-10-28T12:45:00.003-05:00

A meme! It's been awhile meme's have been out of vogue for a time. I found this one while reading a new blog. Everyone congratulate him on his recent engagement! Hi Jon!

Where was your default picture taken? On this blog? in Portland, Or at the japanese
gardens
Are you in a relationship, single, complicated, married, or engaged? in a relationship, it started July 3rd

Do you have a flip or slide phone? I prefer flip phones but have an Iphone for now till something better comes along.

Have you ever had your heart broken? Yup usually did it to myself.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Yup, sure have....

Who do you hate? Specific folk my lawyer said should never be mentioned in print.

Do you have an iPod? No, an Iphone, however I have a Zune and comparing the two the zune is vastly superior and easier to use. Please people try them!!!

Who was the last person you stayed up late with? Eli : )

Do you have any weird inside jokes? yeah sometimes they span decades of time but typically they revolve around single quote lines or an understanding of non-euclidian geometry.

Do you find piercings attractive? Yes!

What’s the worst abuse you have done to your phone> Not much yet to the iphone it's pretty new. the last one got lost in a downpour

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? probably not, I like aspects of smoking.

Name something you dislike about the day you’re having? I need to sell $8000 more in the next 3 hours

Have you ever kissed in a pool? Yeah, it's nice

Is there anybody you’re really disappointed in right now? No disappointment is usually a personal issue.

Do you ever wonder what your ex or most recent “thing” is up to? Sometimes but not in any serious way.

Who is your best friends boyfriend/girlfriend? Always male...

Whats wrong with you right now? I would like a nap

Are you mean? not typically, however the label is applied often so it must mean something.

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them? I work very hard to talk about them because if not I bury them very deeply

How is your hair? Meh

Latest you stayed up in the past week? 1am

Have you been in a car accident? Yeah two months ago

Do you care if people hate you for no reason? No, I only care if there is a reason.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? No, not really

Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with? No, that was ages ago, i was 14 or 15

What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school? Whatever my mom played on the radio...and ABBA

What is the best thing about your job? The people I work with, and the relationships with the customers.

Where are you going on your next vacation? Not sure maybe England again

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Boyfriend

Are most of the friends in your life new or old? Old at least 4 years or more.

Do you own any furniture from Ikea? No really couldn't be bothered...

If you could be any animal what would you be? Giant Sloth

What state/country are you from? That's a tricky question, several of them...

Where do you see yourself in one month? Hopefully working off the thanksgiving turkey at the gym

Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend? Yes. It was mostly my fault though.

Do you think you would make a good wife/husband? I'd like to think so

Everything happens for a reason? Mmm in a way I suppose. The question typically contains the answer.

Do you sleep with the TV on? Off!

Do you think you’ll be a good Mother/Father? Maybe if I tried harder than I am now.

Are you high-maintenance? No the opposite

Are you happy with the way life is going? Yes ...since July : )

Prop 8

2008-10-26T14:10:00.001-05:00

Since I think gay marriage is better for gays both as a stabilizing force, for the betterment of all, and as a personal desire; I think folk should do what they can to support this cause. Also I would urge those who believe to make an effort to donate. State law in California requires each donation to be name labeled, saved and recorded, if nothing else and the proposition goes forward, you will and can be known to have made your wishes heard and attach a name to to that desire. In a democracy and a Republic, this is the way and the time to be counted.

dark knitting humor

2008-10-24T12:42:00.001-05:00

dark knitting humor
Originally uploaded by Jimbo3DC

Jimbo found this in the interwebs. I think it's hilarious and wonder if there is a larger series of these. Like bogs, frogs, etc. That would be cool to see. Can you imagine the instruction sheet for this pattern?

Context, I've been thinking about learning to knit...

Palm Beach needs Help!

2008-10-13T14:11:00.002-05:00

Wow first Mark Foley tries to bang senate pages while txting like a 16 year old, now his democratic successor has his own sex scandal!

Report: Fla. congressman paid $121K to former staffer after affair
From Yahoo!

ABC News says Rep. Tim Mahoney, D-Fla., had an affair with one of his aides and then agreed to a $121,000 settlement when she threatened to file a sexual harassment lawsuit.

The Politico quotes a Mahoney spokesman saying that the payment didn't include any government or campaign funds.

The relationship between Mahoney and Patricia Allen began while he was running against Foley in 2006, according to the network, which says the affair continued after the Democrat took office and hired Allen to work in his district office.

Mahoney replaced Rep. Mark Foley after the Palm Beach Republican resigned amid allegations that he had exchanged sexually explicit messages with underage male pages on Capitol Hill.

Allen, 50, broke off the relationship and was fired earlier this year, the network says, citing an audiotape that's posted on its website.

She hired a lawyer and the pair eventually agreed on a settlement. "Mahoney, who is married, also promised [her] a $50,000 a year job for two years at the agency that handles his campaign advertising," the network says, citing anonymous staffers.

Heros and the 3rd Season

2008-09-30T11:25:00.002-05:00

You know I've started liking hero's again the writing is getting a little better and the Company is just evil (like the first season). I'm still pissed that Gabriel/Sylar isn't dead though his character is under going some interesting twists he's still too powerful. Plus why are they sacrificing good heroes to him in some misguided attempt to make him even more powerful?? "Hey Satan, you know what would super cool? If you also had the power to make black holes in peoples minds, why don't we give you that one too!"

Oh well I'm kind of digging Claire's mom and hoping that Mohinder turns into something ugly and does the mad scientist lament. "Man was not meant to meddle in God's plan", speech" Than I can giggle and go play with my Sloth/Armadillo half breeds.

Oh well at least I want to watch this season so that's nice.

What I see before I fly

2008-09-29T15:36:00.001-05:00

Debates!!

2008-09-26T12:16:00.002-05:00

My god I just can't wait to hear the "debate" tonight. Here's a quick rundown

Mac -I am true change! I was a POW

Obo- I am change I am half black

Mac- One day I will rewrite every law that evil greedy men ever wrote!

OBO- I say we have a dialog about everything and I will give everyone money and a kitten or a puppy. Your choice..

Mac- People hate me because I pissed off both parties whilst grandstanding, that's a good thing!

OBO_ I carefully made no hard choices in all my jobs so that no one could ever say I stood for, or against something. Did I mention that I'm the only democrat that can get elected because I haven't actually done anything for people to hate?? Cause my opponents all have.

Mac_ My running mate has boobs! Your running mate IS a boob. heh I said boob

OBO- I took a two week trip around the world and ignored my family in africa because they are kind of creepy. That qualifies me for ANYTHING.

Mac- I Was A POW!!!

OBO_ I organized a community but that totally sucked so I left and it's still a piece of shite

NEW REPORTERS- O my god this is the most important conversation ever. In case you couldn't understand this we will now break this into 2 second sound bites and explain why we support OBO because of BDS

and that my friends is what we are going to hear tonight.

this happens every day

2008-09-26T12:14:00.001-05:00

Many sail the dark seas looking for treasure and tuna

2008-09-19T13:14:00.002-05:00

Burning body not suspicious

2008-09-16T09:43:00.002-05:00

As much as I liked Scotland i'm a bit worried about visiting again. Apparently finding a smoldering corpse on a golf course is not that, "suspicious". Shouldn't this be a bit weird? Maybe not that normal? Maybe the high level of drinking makes scottish blood flammable? Maybe Dr. Who type aliens are igniting people and leaving burnt corpses?

Reasons to Vote in November

2008-09-03T12:39:00.003-05:00

I'm still not sure if this is a positive or a negative but all I know is that if you can't trust cyborgs to run your government who can you trust?

Common loves

2008-08-13T18:52:00.001-05:00

Despite E's dislike of video games and most TV, we both agree on many things. One Active Duty Porn is hot, two sushi is good, three, Suede, must die.

tax dollars at work

2008-08-04T09:11:00.004-05:00

In Ancient times dark powers worked with eldritch rhymes to gather and control the deeper powers of the universe. Long ago the elder races banded together to destroy this perverted race, and wiped them out of known history. However recent spy networks have detected activities in some of their ancient holdings, though all spies went mad from the evil rhythms, they did manage to transmit this single file.

CERN Rap from Will Barras on Vimeo.

"The Boy" Here after refered to as "E"

2008-07-22T21:30:00.002-05:00

Well for those of you that are curious let me fill you all in on my amazing new boyfriend. We met July Third, dated for two weeks and than decided that the process of dating was over and we actually liked each other and were compatible enough to risk referring to ourselves as boyfriends. It's been a seriously long time for me, (crap I'm going to have to start updated some of these "abouts") and despite my fumblings I'm getting most of the right words out where they need to be. "E" is a bright spot in my head, he's super smart, seriously cute, dirty, and even manages to motivate me. But most importantly he can make me laugh, seriously bust a gut and feel alive. The fact that he cooks and has green eyes continue to make me suspicious that I will wake up and the majority of this will be a dream.
There are some issues in location he lives a fair distance away and is attending university, his career arc will gradually take him from the area in an ever expanding circuit of travel. The good aspects of that are I love to travel, and getting out of oklahoma wouldn't be the worst thing that ever happened to me.
We are of course still working on communication, sometimes I'm to literal or pig headed, and sometimes he's confusingly passive in discussions when he doesn't want to openly disagree. But as with most people I try to see the whole as features that i have to learn to tune my ear to.

Well that's as deep as I feel getting on the a blog at the moment and I'm sure He'll come up in future posts, we are planning some trips and drives and I'm sure they'll be pictures galore if things continue to work out.

Thanks for the advice from the previous comments Chwjohns, I did take it to heart after over analyzing the situation far too long. Good luck with your own project!
Thanks to the rest!

musings

2008-07-10T15:52:00.003-05:00

So I met someone amazing, quite seriously there is nothing wrong with this fine ass slab of man. Green eyes, huge brain, driven, cute, a great cook, and he digs the hell out of me (no idea why!). Quite honestly this scares the shit out of me. like, dick cringing, crawl under a rock, wonder why i ever thought i could do this. But it's not a challenge I don't want to face, so I guess I'm going to focus and give it my best shot. wish me luck cause it could be you next time!!

And seriously If you ever read this B I mean it.

Happy 4th!!

2008-07-04T16:20:00.003-05:00

You'd never guess what happened to me. Who knows, I might not be single!

Have a safe and happy 4th everyone, Now go blow something up!!

context undone

2008-07-01T11:11:00.002-05:00

I'm 33 years old and I've ordered an ASVAB primer test to see how hard it might be ...

somethings not right.
Ideas? suggestions? Advice?
Would it be worth it? Just to prove myself against something that was a childhood expectation?

(while I'm sure that none of my foreign readers have any idea what that means I have every confidence that they can google it

journalism....still dead

2008-06-30T08:36:00.002-05:00

Zimbabwe results show Mugabe headed for crushing victory
16 hours ago
Zimbabwe election officials on Sunday began announcing results from the country's one-man run-off vote, with indications that President Robert Mugabe had won an overwhelming victory.

kinda hard not to have an overwhelming victory...when you run against yourself!!!

Amongst my favorite authors

2008-06-19T14:01:00.002-05:00

Honestly if you have any time read the funny words of the gay ninja robot
A Quote
"If you very explicitly tell a random that he is welcome to blow you but that you will not reciprocate, have some self-respect and hold up your end of the bargain."

yeah what he said

2008-06-19T09:01:00.004-05:00

hmm totally context

In regards to journalism

2008-06-16T19:02:00.001-05:00

"The Irish disaster was predictable but nevertheless came as a surprise."

This is regards to the recent no vote in Ireland in regards to that bloated non-representative union they keep trying to reword and resell.

Journalism is dead.

Haiku break

2008-06-16T15:19:00.003-05:00

So because talking about a trip is hard work here is a meme break

The Mrpeenee Auto Haiku Tag Meme tm.
Here’s how it goes:
In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst movie you can think of.

Mirror Mask, Darkly

In seven syllables, no more, no less, describe your worst date. Bonus points if it was sordid. Subtract points if it sounds too much like an overweight fifteen year old Goth girl.

So a prison Tattoo huh?

In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst job you ever had.

Shovel that asphalt!

Put it all together and you have a haiku of life’s low points.

Mirror Mask, Darkly
So a prison Tattoo huh?
Shovel that asphalt!

hmm I don't think that worked, like the idea though

The trip

2008-06-12T16:40:00.004-05:00

Okay so not that anyone reads this site, well not more than 10 people a day and who knows if they're bots looking for tasty morsels. but I guess I should record my trip across the pond for posterity sake or until I delete this blog and pretend it never existed.
I left early in the morning on the 1st of May, parking my car in the airport garage, (a move that was very lucky in hindsight), I flew directly to Newark NJ. I landed with no clue as to what to do, i kind of like to travel that way. i checked into the hotel and was not surprised to find that since i was in new jersey the whole room smelled like sweaty polish people. Luckily to my surprise the window opened and that allowed me to air out the room. I than jumped onto the tram and went to the big apple. Luckily for me the tram people were very helpful and the moment you looked lost they asked you if you needed help. Well in NJ at least those port authority people rocked!

After getting to Penn station I meandered around looking for the exit until at last I broke out, free to breath the air of the big city... It was surprisingly beautiful, the weather contributed of course, but everything was greening and there were far more dedications to plant life than I had expected. I went back below and took the subway up and out to the Metropolitan museum of art, well it takes you within a couple of blocks of it. Of course this is the pricey(er?) part of the city so the buildings were fabulous and the streets fairly clean.

extremely odd

2008-06-11T22:48:00.002-05:00

I had a strange epiphany while driving back to work from lunch yesterday. I was thinking about how much i wanted a cookie when my mind drifted and I suddenly realized that I had a very strong desire to have a german chocolate cake at my wedding. Why is this weird? I have never really planned on getting married, it's never seemed like something i would do, or desire, but suddenly that one stupid thought illuminated a whole series of desires in me, to be married, to yell at my husband over something stupid like taking out the trash. To fight, to make up, to trust that someone was going to be there for you. I wanted it all, I wanted a family. It just sparked and started to burn, stronger and stronger until i realized that desire was a permanent part of me now.
How odd is that?

Wheee

2008-05-26T18:15:00.001-05:00

It's possible if I had been born a few years I would have been an....emo

Update
I really like the album, some of the songs are slower than i like but the hits are very clear to me.

please stare into my eyes

2008-05-21T16:39:00.003-05:00

There have been minor delays in posting about my trip, which was awesome. please forgive!!

Onward to Briton!

2008-04-30T15:36:00.003-05:00

alrighty y'all I'm off for my spring adventures across the pond with a quick stop at NYC and the isle of Atlantis to restock on some power crystals and hobo jerky. Wish me well because, well because that's the nice thing to do.
God save the queen cause if I find Harry her grandson I'm totally making him mine.

*Note to the british, I'm sorry I was unable to find a belt buckle with suitable style to be flashing on your island. Also I refuse to wear shiny shirts.

My thoughts on gay marriage

2008-04-23T22:08:00.002-05:00

There was a thread on gay marriage that I followed from the Malcontent, after spending way too much time I put together a post of my thoughts on it tying in with the debate.

The Blog http://minx.cc/?post=260309

"217 You know there are lots of laws that aren't based on morality but on property rights. There are also tax laws, property, theft, embezzlement etc. The belief that these are all based on moral codes is false. They are based on our (english based) system of property rights.

Kudos to the many that made this a excellent forum to read and thanks. Though gay I was initially negative to the concept of gay marriage but grew to desire it for reasons similar to Robbie. Gays aren't going anywhere we have been around in all cultures, all continents, and in all times. Our levels of social acceptance have waxed and waned mostly contingent on the religious mores of the culture we are born into. To give gays marriage rights would actually bring them in firmly under the thumb of society and keep them inline with the communities by outlining their rights and responsibilities in their relationships. It also gives us a sense of belonging, a feeling many of us loose after hostile responses from friends and families, without belonging many turn to drugs, unhealthy relationships or suicide trying to fill the hole that was left. Having rules to cling to I believe would save many from this fate.
Many have argued in this thread that marriage is an ancient institution and has always been between a man and a woman, forgetting of course that it was between a man and MANY women, even biblically speaking all the forefathers excepting Noah and Adam had relations with multiple women (Joseph, Abraham, Lot, David, Solomon, Saul etc) Only in the new testament was the practice abolished but only for commoners. Royal families often turned to concubines if the wife was infertile or only producing females. Marriage in the middle ages and modern times (outside of the US) was always arranged and was typically done for family benefits or property exchange. Multiple wife marriages are also practiced in native tribes in South America, New Guinea, Africa, and China. These are not just ancient practices these are modern and current.
Marriage for the sake of love is a western and mainly american invention brought about by the industrial revolution and the freedoms it produced. What gays want is just that, marriage for the sake of love, under the guidelines of their parent culture. Can straights argue against that when you take advantage of this new type of marriage contrary even to most religious doctrines? Marriage for love allows divorce, childless marriages, and even remarriage (a trait that is VERY new for women) can you argue that it does not encompass same sex love? Love that is willing to commit to the same sacrifices and tribulations that straights face?
I find this very hard to understand since the marriage of the bible has long been outdated but i think the american resistance to the whole thing has more to do with our culture than our religions. Most americans do not consider themselves married unless it is done in a church, and therefore see state confirmation of same sex marriages as a secular attack on their individual churches, that suddenly they would have gay parishioners demanding weddings and that they would have to watch. But these are secular weddings we are demanding NOT religious ones. I'm not trying to change religion, i'm trying to gain access to a secular institution that as a citizen would help protect my loved ones and secure my property rights for my loved ones.
Being attracted to your own sex is not a choice, being out and defined as gay is, we have to choose between living in the closet, lying to those who we are suppose to love and living in fear that one wrong world could bring our world to an end. This is why we cannot stay in the closet no matter how it makes others feel. It warps us and twists us until we break, and until you have lived with this fear you cannot understand how heavy a load you wish to pile on our shoulders.
Do you really want to preach to your children that to keep your love they must lie and hide their feelings from you? Is that what you tell your sons and daughters when they come to you with questions?

Well thanks for contributing everyone i had a great read and I hope this has given you some perspective on why gays want marriage despite the way straights talk about it. "

My Favorite Prey

2008-04-07T09:42:00.003-05:00

Ah the medieval fair, the natural foraging ground for unicorns. Not being a virgin I didn't dare try to ride one but I simply had to take a picture. Specially after they decked my friends mother with one of their horns.
I think it just goes to show that americans can be just as soft and adorable as the french!

Reason number 725

2008-03-20T14:23:00.002-05:00

Why i have trouble making friends.
(psst) I'm the one on the right!

FFFound

2008-03-20T14:18:00.002-05:00

Thanks to Sean I found this cool site FFFound

I promise I wont forget this time...

stupidity

2008-03-19T20:01:00.002-05:00

I swear my next trip is going to be planned specifically around gay rugby....
I am going to London on May 2nd and staying for a week. It's going to be awesome and fun but some how after I planned my trip I was inundated with gay rugby dates that I am MISSING this sadly is one of them. gdamn luck! i have none!

The roost of the meme

2008-03-16T20:26:00.003-05:00

Stolen from Stuart!

The house I grew up in...
Moved around too much to have a "house" still i consider New Mexico the land of my childhood

When I was a child I wanted to be...
Alexander the Great! Well at least I turned out gay...

The moment that changed me for ever...
Being on my own and penniless. well i had several pennies.

My greatest inspiration...
Mum-Ra the villain from Thundercats

My real-life villain...
Fred Phelps

If I could change one thing about myself...
Jaw line. oh and horns

At night I dream of...
don't ask.

What I see when I look in the mirror...
someone who should shave more

My style icon...
what is this suppose to be?

My favorite item of clothing...
jeans

I wish I'd never worn...
boxcut briefs.

It's not fashionable but I like...
Jedi cloaks.
Umm Flannel shirts i guess

You wouldn't know it but I'm very good at...
social politics

You may not know it but I'm no good at...
personal relationships

All my money goes on...
black lotus flowers and opium dens

If I have time to myself...
I'm going to agree with Stuart on this one
I like to masturbate furiously like a horny monkey in the zoo!

I drive/ride...
a car which I just bought in November 07

My house/flat is...
in Oklahoma

My most valuable possession is...
the house followed by the car, but honestly it's my friends

My favorite building...
That's a hard one because I like lots of different styles. Personally I like stone buildings with a moat and draw bridge

Movie heaven...
I love pornnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
sweet sweet porn
oh and movies with werewolves, sci-fi, vampires, and anime
also oddly enough gay drama/comedy flicks

A book that changed me...
Dark of the Gods, by P.C.Hodgell, one of the most underrated of all modern fantasy authors

My favorite work of art...
most of Salvador Dali's stuff, i don't do favorites well but I really like his Celestial Elephants series and have prints of many of them

The last album I bought/downloaded...
Muse -Absolution, current favorite band

The person who really makes me laugh...
my friend Sam

The shop I can't walk past...
porn stores...

The best invention ever...
q-tips

In ten years time, I hope to be...
doing something more technical like bio work, but I'd like to be paired up and happily married to a guy.

My greatest regret...
hurting people to keep my secrets

My life in seven words... I'm doing this chronologically
chaotic
painful
suppressed
bitter
happy
searching
willing

Torchwood 2.0 is so bad

2008-02-25T10:27:00.003-06:00

Have you ever been watching a TV show and realized that not only was it poorly written but that the characters would never last in the real world? Not only would they not last but they would never be put into positions of authority even if they were immortal and had lived for hundreds of years and should be chalk full of wisdom and salient advice? I was watching the show where Ryes the fiance of one of the Torchwood members gets clued in on their secret activities, gets recruited for a mission, does surprisingly better than his Fiancee at not botching the job and gives some really bad lines about how not knowing what she is doing is driving him crazy. However the worst lines/acting/emoting come from the horrible Captain Jack who should be shot for trying to act like Captain Kirk. Honestly if it weren't for the hope of sex scenes with Ianto Jones. Seriously I'm thinking of just fast forwarding through the episodes or watching them on "mute"
The last chance this show has for me is thenext episode with Martha Jones from the Dr Who series, and from the trailers it looks real lame. Oh why couldn't Barrowman have been a good gay actor...

The date went well

2008-02-25T10:25:00.002-06:00

I was happy with the date, I wish I had got a kiss at the end of it but the quick text message after I left was good enough. Saw "Jumpers" with him, had dinner and than went for some drinks ran into his boss, got invited to a party with him on Saturday and than went home and crashed. he's a nice guy with a better sense of fashion than me!...well that's not hard anyway.

Chance contemplation

2008-02-24T10:21:00.003-06:00

I missed the lunar eclipse, my astrological luck held and it was completely over cast on Tuesday.

I have a date tonight!

The democratic primary has just passed the point of hilarity and has now entered the realm of gut bustlingly funny. I heard Obama chastise Bush (as a politician) for promising things during an election, and than following that statement with saying he wouldn't do that...promise...

Scene 1: Over contemplation

2008-02-13T22:06:00.004-06:00

To me depression has several guises but the one that stays in my mind the most is a scene of void. When I am alone, when it's cold and the emotions are to deep I feel it tug inexorably at me. Since a time in college when my world fell apart and I was penniless, literally, and forced to share a room with an unstable room mate that was gradually succumbing to his own demons I have felt alone in my heart. It's was a hardening of persona and adding labels seemed to make it worse. I tried playing it straight to fit in and avoid another label. It feels painful to be labeled, put in a box and looked at, judged for the words that describe me.
I lack adequate words to explain how living the lie compounded the self hatred until it broke me open and I had to come clean, and live with the labels openly.
After facing that, the depression got worse for a time as I readjusted, having friends that playfully teased me helped, it drew me out of my shadow and I became confident for the first time in a long time. But the scars remain. Not long after I came out I started dating a nice guy, he wasn't quite my type but it was nice to be adored. But even than I distinctly remember thinking, "he's a fool to love someone as fucked up as me." Of all ironies someone had told me that about themselves long before all of this and i remember how hurt that made me.

Has the depression gone away? No not really I have better ways of dealing with it but it's still there and is something I've had to learn to compensate for and combat.
Can you combat depression? I like to think so, it depends a lot on the type of the depression. Some of the more foundational depressions are emotional, situational, chemical, and I would argue cultural.

Chemical depression caused by genetics, diet, or drugs is hard to combat. Drugs can stabilize but only until your body and mind compensate for them. My advice to these sufferers is accept the likely irrationality of your actions driven by your out of control emotions, correct diet and work to use meds responsibly There is only so much medicine can do for you and you are likely to locked in a spiral of stronger and stronger drugs. Try and train your brain to accept lower levels of happiness as normal. Your brain is misgauged and your best long term goal is to retrain it.
Situational depression could be caused by deaths, job losses, a failed relationship normal events that are sad and bring you down. A story about an old german psychiatrist in WW2 has been the best wisdom I've ever heard concerning this state. A soldier came in suffering from shell shock and depression. The rest of his squad had been killed recently and he refused to get up and fight. He tried to explain this to the doctor but the old man would have none of it. "Oh course you feel sad and depressed! everyone died, you survived. There is no rhyme or reason to it. So What?
Everyone feels horrible, your suppose to after something like that. It is just an emotion, not a wall, not a heavy block, just a feeling in your head. Now get up and go feel depressed on the battle field."
Say what you want but to me the Doctor made sense.
Emotional depression comes from inside you, it could be complete lack of faith in self, the death of your inner dreams. The inability to feel connected or whole. Ennui. The opposite of this form is purpose, goals, someone or something to live for, not easy things at all. Something i struggle with daily. I want to live for my dreams but I barely understand them some days.

Most typically I suffer from emotional depression, cutting out sugar and caffeine brought most of my chemical depression under control, but i still use alcohol and weed as a crutch. I can suffer from seasonal depression fairly badly at the start of winter but staying active dulls that the best. My work can cause me situational depression but for now that is the easiest to deal with. I just try hard to leave work at work and live a separate life, it seems to have worked and I'm glad to say that for me this is under control.
So for now emotional depression still haunts me and I have not escaped the tug of the void.

Okay that was fairly long but I've been meaning to say something like this for several weeks. Has anyone else worked to pinpoint their depression and have tips for dealing with it? Dagon I know you've talked about meds, any tips on how not to over do it?

Okay I'm going to bed now, I may edit this after reading it in the light

Well that sucked

2008-02-12T21:05:00.002-06:00

Well that was a bust, no guy nuggie for me. The only bright note in the last two weeks was that I met an old coworker at the gym. To bad he got married.

Now for my next trick! Gay Depression!

Calling all gods.

2008-02-03T16:35:00.001-06:00

anyone know one of these? I totally need to get a message across, if I don't find me a real man for valentines day I'm going to go totally batshit crazy.

for TJ

2008-02-01T14:24:00.000-06:00

'ol TJ who runs Durban has a hilarious take on what to call his partner. So this is for him.

50 questions of moderate interest

2008-01-27T12:18:00.000-06:00

Stolen from Stuart who stole it from Yani, who stole it from a small woman selling magic beans.

# When was the last time you threw up?
maybe a year and a half ago? not quite sure

# What age will you be next birthday?
33, and I haven't conquered the world yet..bit bummed about that

# What's your favorite curse word?

# Name 3 people who made you smile today?
Sam, Dr. Who, and ..well no one else yet

# What were you doing at 8 a.m. this morning?
Sleeping. I was up till two drinking and playing Titan's Quest

# What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
watching porn, talking on the phone

# Where were you born?
Fort Leonardwood MO

# Have you ever been to a strip club?
Many Times in many states, they are fairly boring to me but the friends like them and some customers like to take you there.

# What is the last thing you said aloud?
"shut the fuck up dog."

# What is the best ice cream flavour?
hmm typically anything with real peanut butter in it.

# What was the last thing you had to drink?
ice tea

# What are you wearing right now?
red t-shirt, black track pants, boxers

# What was the last thing you ate?
i made bacon and avocado tacos for breakfast

# Have you bought any new clothes this week?
yes I bought two jumpers for my friends' new twin boys

# Where were you last?
the living room?

# What's the last sporting event you watched? Who won?
Packers versus the giants, the Giants won

# Who is the last person you sent a comment/message while blogging?
Stuart

# Ever go camping?
Yup it's fun though the older i get the more amenities i want to take. In the end I just want to stay in a hotel room.

# Where do you live?
Norman, OK I think it was voted 40th nicest place to live in the US

# What song are you listening to?
none

# Do you have a tan?
somewhat, i was thinking of going and tanning before heading to the movies this evening

# Do you drink your soda from a straw?
I don't drink soda but i do prefer to drink from a straw.

# What did your last text message say?
you want ot hang out this weekend?

# Who's your best friends?
Brad, Sam, Phil, Nick, Nicole

# What are you doing tomorrow?
Working ..at work no less

# Where is your mom right now?
home? maybe church? don't know she lives 1600 miles away

# Look to your right, what do you see?
a closet door.

# What colour is your watch?
it's metal but I have both brown and black leather bands for it. Swatches were cool!

# What do you think of when you think of Australia?
The blue sky against red earth, dusty brown undergrowth and walking aborigines.
than i think of Sydney, perth, crocodiles, and the surf.

# Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
many many times.

# What is your birthstone?
I think it's pearl !gay! I prefer emeralds.

# Do you go in at a fast-food place or just hit the drive through?
I always go in, it's safer that way

# What is your favorite number?
7

# Do you have a dog?
yes, he's cute but has way to much energy

# Last person you talked to on the phone?
Sam, making plans to go see Juno

# Have you met anyone famous?
If I did they didn't make a big impression. I have met a few billionaires

# Any plans today?
Going to see Juno, than eat sushi with Sam, maybe stop and do some shopping as well.

# How many states have you lived in?
6 for any length of time.

# Ever go to college?
Yes, didn't get to finish yet though

# Where are you right now?
in the computer room, it's off the hallway from the entrance in the southern wing of the house. Hah!

# Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
being single despite several changes in my life and being more outgoing and really TRYING!

# Are you in love with someone right now?
just my friends and family.

# Are you allergic to anything?
poison ivy and some form of soap that I'm still trying to track down.

# Favourite pair of shoes?
not really i need some more but have been unlucky to like shoes that are never stocked in my size.

# Do any of your friends have children?
yes several, in fact two of them are my god children.

# Do you eat healthy?
mostly except lunches.

# What do you usually do during the day?
work at my desk.

# Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
usually...i guess i don't keep track.

# How did you get one of your scars (if you have any)?
i have several the one next to my eye I got when i was five riding in the back of my dad's truck. He stopped at a stop sign and I slide into a metal rail, 5 stitches next to my eye.

Fuck Guitar Hero

2008-01-22T20:49:00.000-06:00

Okay why is it that I am the one left out because i can't stand this game? I find it boring to mash buttons to make the song play. I find it tedious and draining to watch others play, I have no desire to even practice this game.
Mash faster!
Mash Mash!
your digital masters command you!

Seriously what the fuck??

I think my testosterone levels are way up, when my workout buddy told me he has to switch gyms to honor an old commitment and because he can't afford 49$ a month I had the over whelming urge to throw him against a wall. Plus he plays Guitar hero. I'm concerned that my workouts will suffer if I don't have a gym buddy but I've grown perfectly happy with my gym. It has everything I want and plus i have the perfect crush there.
I should consider this rationally.
I should take his concerns into account and try the new place out.
I should calm myself and rate my options and choices.

I shouldn't consider people as tools.
I shouldn't allow anger to lose me friends.
I shouldn't fall back into old cycles.

I've done so well for so long. I know I'm going to fuck this up.

blatent pandering to my hopefully target audience

2008-01-19T16:10:00.000-06:00

Now I'm not totally set in my ways as to my type persay, however if you look like this I will totally do your fucking laundry after we do the deed.

Guilt after sex? what's that?

2008-01-19T15:48:00.000-06:00

First of all I can't believe that their were no blitzball commentators, I'm VERY disappointed.

Secondly, and to the point of the title, do any of my readers,I SEE YOU OUT THERE, GOOGLE ANALYTICS SEES ALL BITCHES, ever feel guilty after sex? I've read many stories about people that do, and I've met a few that do but I've never understood it. To me sex is as natural as breathing and I've never had hangups about doing it with guys. I have had hangups later when i was in the closet about getting caught, but never about the act. Is it a catholic thing? I've always wanted to explore the exact feelings and see if it was a misinterpretation of the hormonal release that happens afterwards, or maybe pointed out gays that had been abused in the past. Is anyone willing to go on the record here?

sadly no this post was not inspired by current events, which have been sadly single.

Editors Note
I just wanted you to realize that this question does deal with context concerning me for those keeping score. In that it reveals a character trait about myself and the ridiculous questions you would have to endure if you were around me.

CloverField!!!!

2008-01-12T10:22:00.000-06:00

Okay I admit I've been a bit excited about the trailers of Cloverfield the new up coming monster movie and Jimbo here has the scoop!

It's Sin from Final Fantasy 10! Complete with parasites and kungfu tail action!

Damn I want to play Blitzball now. Okay Confession time, how many hours did you spend playing FF-X?

Update
Okay the pictures gave you the general idea here are some viewer pics if you want the spoilers! From WWTDD

After Watching the Movie Update

I really liked this movie, the camera work was too much sometimes but the characters really did it for me. It's a mix of Blair Witch and Godzilla, but well done with good effects. It mad me laugh, it made me feel sad, it freaked me out once, what more can you ask?

"murder (S)he wrote"

2008-01-09T10:28:00.001-06:00

Okay this is just a bit of farce about Ryan from his blog. Now Ryan I think your adorable, and Mikey's awesome and you two are great bloggers and thanks for the comment! But after reading your blog for almost two years there's something you should realize. You are just like Angela Lansbury from "murder she wrote", weird things happen around you! Sorry no disrespect to the dead meant!
"Seems like the president of the school I went to has pass away. Details I guess is he might have jump from a roof of the hotel where he was staying. I am not sure I just seen it in the paper"

150 possible points of Context

2008-01-07T09:31:00.000-06:00

Stole this from Alan! Check out his blog!

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm
favorite activity!
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
and there were all these colors and cool effects and...
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
So much easier to buy them!
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
how do the crap that much!
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
Yeah it's fun and I recommend it
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
ugh only once that stuff is poison!
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
! and been rejected!
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
it's quite nice when it happens
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
sadly no but I'm getting there!
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
yeah that's no fun...cept that one time heh
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
a house number. and a fallout shelter sign from an old building
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
pretend??
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
well most of it, i had just stayed up to watch the sunrise!
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
does snorkelingcount?
62. Kissed in the rain
I think that was the nicest date ever
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
two!
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
I go for work!
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
yeah your pretty much screwed if you don't
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
rifle and pistol, I prefer the rifle
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
i went with my grandmother, than i taught myself how to make cream of mushroom soup.
118. Ridden a horse
my only memory of my natural grandfather was him teaching us how to ride a horse.
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
two savanna monitors actually
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
it wasn't exactly a street fair but it was a booth
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

okay maybe I do mean to offend

2008-01-02T16:20:00.000-06:00

But you got to admit they work hard at not thinking

belated christmas meme---just like my cards!

2007-12-30T09:30:00.000-06:00

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
gift bags if they are available, but usually wrapping. I'm always disapointed in the results.

2. Real tree or artificial?
Real tree if at all available.

3. When do you put up the tree?
If I put up a tree it would be the second week of December, not to early not to late
*with the cavit that I haven't actually put up a tree in years

4. When do you take the tree down?
after new years most likely

5. Do you like eggnog?
yup quite a bit

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
hmm typically money

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
Nope

8. Hardest person to buy for?
my grandmother

9. Easiest person to buy for?
that would be people under the age of 8

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
sure... that's going to happen

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
a matchbook size zen sandbox, and ugly sweaters

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
alien versus predator!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
start of November typically

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
yeah I think it's perfectly reasonable

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
ham! it scares off the muslim terrorists! oh and pie for breakfast

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
don't really care?!

17. Favorite Christmas song?
we three kings

17b. Christmas Song That, When You Hear It, Makes Your Eyes Bleed And Your Brains Start To Leak Out Your Ears, Because That Is Less Painful Than Having To Listen To That *&%^&$# Song One More Time! almost all of them at anytime.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
light traveling!

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?
I don't think it is wise to name animals you might have to eat.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
star

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Christmas morning. or afternoon (i'm older now)

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
the weight gain

24. Favorite Christmas Tradition?
baking giving gifts

25. Outdoor decorations?
bear traps for the carolers!

I'm better already!

2007-12-27T17:37:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was probably one of the most depressing days of the whole year for me, but really I'm not that bad most days. I just suffer from a lack of friends to wax esoteric with and regardless of how great my friends are sometimes i just want someone with me to nerd out with or hug me when i'm having a bad day. I think that's the hardest thing about living alone.
Oh well it's gym day so I'm off to workout. I'll see if I can't knock out a meme or two tomorrow I've seen some great christmas ones I want to do.

Here's my comedian crush

Context

2007-12-26T19:14:00.000-06:00

I Am, alive, feeling stuck in the middle, waiting.
So, what do i have to do to get unstuck at last?
Fucking, in church were I lost my virginity, thinking this was normal.
Lonely, for real affection, someone waiting for me, a voice.
Again, and again.

I'm just down, it's normal holiday blahs i guess. The Simpson's movie was funny, the weather was great. I broke my camera. Locked myself out of the house with the wrong set of keys. I'm a dork. My USB ports still don't work. The sun will come out tomorrow, or eventually, Puff, Puff pass.

Updated, these things look horrid in daylight

What I did on my winter vacation

2007-12-13T10:33:00.000-06:00

So the first picture is of my back yard the second my front yard, i had an extensively wooded 1/3 of an acre. The recent ice storm broke off all the tops and probably killed most of the trees. We get ice storms here every year, that isn't unusual, what was different about this storm was the length of time that the icing lasted. Three days. Under that kind of weight every tree that still had leaves on broke in half and bare limbs snapped if they were to close together. The trees that did best had lost all their leaves already, and had branches spaced well apart from each other.

Gah the damage...if the roof is damaged and it very well might be, I can kiss my europe trip goodbye till fall at least. The amount of wood on the ground and still hanging in the air is huge. I'm depressed about the whole situation. At least I was only without power for a day, my friends were out for three days and were living with me till wednesday night. Other friends and co-workers that live further out are expecting to be out of power for one to two weeks.

I feel myself slipping into this depression, trying to sleep in later, listing task after task in my head to make them more daunting. I wish i wasn't single right now and had someone to lean one and encourage me. But at least i have friends doing it and that helps some.

Cthulu is my homeboy

2007-12-07T15:06:00.000-06:00

That is not dead which can eternal lie.
And with strange æons even death may die

I've long had a fascination with elder civilizations, and scoured the archeology books every time a "new" civilization is found. It might be interesting to plumb these feelings with a psychiatric eye one of these days. Any ideas? Anyone else wonder if we are the bastard scions of an ancient global civilization? Anyone have any ideas how cocaine ended up in the noses of mummies?

Not going to go there

2007-12-06T08:59:00.001-06:00

click to enlarge

Honestly, I was like this close to doing a post bitching about the dating scene here! whew that was a close one.

the flaw in the skein

2007-12-02T11:41:00.000-06:00

Hmm I know this is a blog devoted to context and in that light I suppose I shall chalk this up to a small peek at my religious views since these comments sprang from them. Still I apologize for those expecting more baby sloth pictures. so adorable!! Also as a note to Andy and DJraindog, I attempt this only as a outsider trying to use your reason to justify your own beliefs and I think you are both fine men, whose blogs i have long bookmarked. Andy's more than DJ's.

Okay context, it started with Dagon posting pictures from the creationist museum and led to a comment by Andy and DJRaindog both nice enough fellows who are as I later term "philosophical christians" Their logic is thus, Each realizes that the bible if read literally or as direct divine transcription can lead to a host of issues not the least of which several apostles condemning homosexuality, and the old testaments instructions to stone them, right after admonishing people not to eat shellfish. Thus they each create a mental framework in an attempt to justify their faith regardless of the inconsistency of their belief in the book that spawned the religion. To cruelly paraphrase, neither is willing to stake their lives to the truth of the written word, but both of them are willing to risk their eternal souls to it's murky guidance.
Andy begins his logical shenanigans by declaring the bible, "false but accurate" both inherently true and yet not to be taken literally. He declares, "There are limitless riches in the text of Genesis, all of which are cheapened and reduced to complete rubbish by this discussion of whether they are "true" in a scientific sense" . I take it they are cheapened because they are examined and tested? What moral code shouldn't be? To him these lessons are true in a moral way. So when faced with a flood that will wipe out your species except for your family, it is important to stick to your religious convictions and let your fellow man drown. This is a moral lesson? When man attempts to reach for divinity such as in the story of the Tower of Babel, it is God's duty to confuses them and keep them from reaching by inflicting them with broken languages that lead to war and conflict. This is a moral lesson? When dealing with your older brother whom you loathe you should trick him into giving you his birthrights. This is a moral lesson? I'm sorry but if this is the moral lesson than I can do the same on my own without tying myself to an ancient and confused moral code that doesn't accept me.
DJraindog starts a similar thought by also declaring the followers of Jesus that don't see the Word as he does, false Christians, thereby trying to wash his hands of their attempts at religious understand, and defiantly NOT accepting that the Word might be the problem and easily given to any number of definitions. DJ claims that his higher education allows him to properly understand the word unlike the billions of others who might have read it and got a different idea. He admonishes these others , "I'm doing the same, but I actually have a substantial education. I would suggest that if they want to make sense of these fractured disciplines, they should get their facts from well-established and well-respected scientists, historians, and theologians". Like perhaps the Pope? Ahh but these are Anglicans! to hell with the Pope he can't be right (haha just a little joke guys). They will attempt to explain the stories as moral parables that teach us lessons, but as I mentioned earlier these are sad sad moral lessons.
I believe that if you want to live by a moral code you need to think it out in your own mind, you need to weigh your choices out by what you believe not what a book teaches you is right or wrong. Billions of people thru out the word each give up their personal responsibility of moral questioning to follow their perceived religious duty's. Muslims kill apostates and unbelievers because it is better to be dead than to wrong or unpure to them. Hindus and Buddhist developed the caste systems that lock millions into poverty and despair because they believe that former sins call for them to be punished in this life. These poor people are spit upon and beaten down because of who they were born to. Christians believe that a better world will come from a stricter following of the Bible, after all if everyone followed Jesus than it would truly be a better world, right? At least in their defense most Christians have accepted the plurality of belief that springs from having a confusing book to follow. and their religious wars are now a point of history not current conflict. The facts remain, however, that by trying to follow a book instead of figuring out right from wrong in their own lives and practices, they stunt their mental growth by never developing a strong personal view of the world and their place....And this my friends is my problem with all religions.

now as for my beliefs, I do believe in souls, and I do believe in the transcendence after death. Beyond that I have little faith or belief in the gods of today and think that the afterlife will take care of itself. I believe in souls because I think consciousness has developed to the point that it can exist without a body (after all it seems reasonable to suppose that if our consciousness's were downloaded into a computer they would still exist and have free thought) and if that is the case it seems likely that quantum space will somewhere keep a copy of that state in which it can interact with it's environment.

our Fore Fathers were HUGE!

2007-11-29T15:40:00.000-06:00

sloth baby

2007-11-27T20:09:00.000-06:00

okay context. ...I have wanted a three toed sloth as a pet since i was a young child, no creature has ever sparked the natural affinity that these have in me. I have never analyzed this beyond the yearly dreams of getting one. so uh that's why, sorry to all my "chill, masc, buds"!!!

click to enlarge