Tuesday, November 11, 2008

: / apparently I'm an asshole

Not that I don't already know this, and my close friends know this. However I suppose people I blog with don't know this. Probably because my asshole philosophy tells me to be polite except when talking about things like philosophy. So I can only apologize so much until I get to the point where I remember why I gave up on teaching, and parties and anything other than close friendships. Than I do the same thing I've done since high school, shut my mouth, go home, write my teacher (whose long dead) a letter telling him he was an asshole but right and stick my nose in a book. At least this time I have someone to cuddle with and exchange recipes. Unless he decides I'm an asshole too.
Maybe i should buy christmas presents early just in case...

I suppose for context I should explain, my philosophy only allows me to be an asshole about philosophy because it can kill people. Therefore to express emotion for it is justified. All things that are trivial or transitory must not be worried or fussed over.

I suppose, as Jimbo points out, that not changing a habit since high school would indicate a lack of personal growth as well as it should. However that habit came about as a lesson I learned about debate tactics. Basically I come from a family of very confrontational, self righteous, educated blowhards. Though socially awkward (the gay thing, and poor to boot) I was out spoken in certain classes about history and the lessons to gleen from it. Over time I was convinced by a teacher that debate convinced no one of anything and the only successful way of changing the world was through example. So I stopped being verbal and started just helping people and trying to make my section of the world a better place and for the most part that has been wildly successful. However sometimes i still wish words were enough, and the internet can bring out the worst of my old habits. So I apologize, because nothing really matters in the end except how you treat others.


Jimbo3DC said...

I don't know, you might just be an asshole. Having dealt with conflict in the same way you have since high school might also hint at a lack of personal development.

Tim said...

It's quite possible, though I have a fine record of maintaining friendships for the past 13 years and being considerate of others so there is some doubt to the idea.

I exaggerate to some extent that i have been doing the same thing since high school, I suppose I should say that when I realize I am angry I no longer try to prove which side is right or wrong i simply stop and retreat. It was to correct a previous flaw in which I was sure that I could "help" if I could just show them the error of their ways. If you have found a better way I'm all ears.
Thanks for the comment Jimbo.